What's Phat Modem Line mean?
It means instead of making my website a toned down non graphical piece of mop bucket PHP barf I have decided to go full tilt the opposite way. Those of you with 28.8 bauds, 486's and the cheapest internet services available may take a little while to load because you are living in the stoned age.

As I write this I live on a mountain top and my internet reception sucks so hard I get 3k a second because of the distance from the phone company. I cant even test my own website online without putting my monitor through the wall. However I have been on AOL and Earthlink and have tested the speeds and a standard 56k connection with a decent throughput will work on this website decently.

In the end I want my site, my online world, my body of work and everything I dream, to look just the way I want it. If you want to deprive me of that because it takes a extra 10 seconds to load a page because you are bored.....
Blow.

But to those of you who are patient, enjoy the eye candy and...
Thanks.

Sincerely, Your Customer "I know you're going to complain" Service Department.
David Rogers